The skin on my fingers, you know, the part where the fingerprints are taken from. Its dried out and full of eczema, that now there is no fingerprints! Basically if I were to die (not anytime soon I hope) they would only be able to identify me by my teeth.

I’ve had this before. All my fingers did not have the peaks and trough that can be identified as fingerprints. At that time I was so frightened anything would happen to me because I just could not be identified and no dentist has a record of what my teeth looked like.

I was genuinely worried. I guess you can say that I was paranoid. But to me its a very practically though. So much so that I drove extra careful, I don’t go anywhere I didn’t need to and I did not hang out unnecessarily or stay out to late at night. I even made sure that the threads on my friends car tyres were not worn out! Right until my finger prints came back and my skin was ok.

It usually turns up if I do to much washing up without my gloves. Or if I used the cleaning detergent to clean my bathroom or kitchen without my gloves. I should use my gloves I know. But you see if I use my gloves, I feel the plates, cutlery and other stuff that needs washing doesn’t get clean properly. I know this because when I want to put them away I feel that there is still grease on them that I end up doing double duty! HUFF So there it is. If I don’t wash the plates it doesn’t get done. If I wash them with my gloves, it doesn’t get clean. Then I have to clean them again. It very stressfull to have to do things twice. Its such a waste of time.

I resorted to piling the plates up, but rinse them with water first. Then I wash the plates one shot. I found this might be a good idea but its not a good thing to do. The smell that comes from the kitchen tells your visitors something and it attracts unwanted creatures! So now I’m back to square one. Short of buying myself a dish washer, anyone have any ideas on how I can get around this?

Keeping clean

Itchy

The skin on my scalp is full of eczema!!

When I work out, the sweat pours and it starts to get so itchy. I can’t wear black because people think its dandruff. Huge flakes of skin drops from my head. How can that be dandruff.

Now when I am shooting I make sure that my hair line is covered. Its because you can see flakes of skin trying to come off from the scalp. I’ve also had a hair cut that will limit the amount of hair line that can be seen.

Sometimes the itch gets so bad I will scratch my head and it looks as though I have lice. So people who don’t know me move away from me.

Now parts of my scalp is weeping from the scratching. I can see this because it at my hair line and when I run my fingers though my hair some parts of it is wet from the weeping.

I have changed my shampoo but nothing seemed to work and dandruff shamppo does not work either. Probably its because its not dandruff. DUH!

I found a shampoo called stieprox. It does not leave my scalp dry like some shampoos and dandruff shampoo.

Now I’m treating my scalp with a steriod lotion my dermatologist gave me.

But what I really wanted to say is that my lymph nodes on my neck are swollen from the eczema that I have on my scalp. So I feel like I’m having the flu without the flu. I mean there’s no sniffing or coughing just the sluggish, can’t do anything, joints feel uncomfortable, hot cold hot cold, flu like feeling. There are also times when I can get a fever as well. If I don’t take care of my scalp it will somehow turn into flu and fever. Or any part of my skin for that matter.

I’ve kept on working when I’m like this. Work does not stop when you’re ill. Come the weekend or a break I just bum out and stay in bed and sleep the weekend away. Once the skin is better I feel better.

Is there anyone out there that has a suggestion for eczema on the scalp. I would really appreciate some suggestion I can use.

sluggish

ItChY

I met my crew for lunch yesterday. We were at a restaurant next door to the place we were going to shoot. Everyone had placed their order when i arrived. I ordered plain white rice and Kale. Usually when I make my order I will let the waitress know

no nuts
no shrimp paste
no seafood
no oyster sauce
no sesame seed oil or sesame seed

When my order arrived I have it a good inspection.

Nope there was nothing. Very good, I thought! Usually by this time I’m sending food back to be redone or ordering something else.

So I continued to eat. YUM YUM!!

When I wrapped for the day, when I got home I was having an itch attack like crazy! Usually when I’m like this (that is after scratching myself to death) I will have a shower to cool myself off and being in pain from the scratching. I’ll put my creams on – not my steriods creams cos its not time for that – air condition the room and just calm down.

Later that night I finally realised it was the kale I ate. It must have been cooked with something I am not suppose to eat. I did not taste anything like nuts or seafood, etc.

See, you just don’t know when you are ingesting an allergen. Even when you are being so careful of what you eat and you may have friends and family who understand, to help you out with your food, sometimes you just can’t escape from avoiding the allergens.

Imagine doing this for 33 years. You would think that I would get use to it. Well. yes and no. Sometimes I can get tired especially when people are having a good time with their food. But most of the time I use to it. Especially when you think of the alternative after you’ve eaten the allergen.

HUFF

Itchy

I was watching the finals of America’s Next Top Model cycle 7 yesterday, and it was CariDee who won. Wo Ho……As I was watching her win, she said she was so happy that her dream came true to become a model. But what really caught my interest was, she won eventhough she was living with psoriasis.

I cried. I know……..I can be so emotional.

I can so empathise how she feels. Both Psoriasis and Eczema have no cure but can only be managed. Both Psoriasis and eczema sufferers (and allergy sufferers too) are physically suffering, because of the dis-ease.

“For 15 years, CariDee had to live with the terrible disease, psoriasis, and was certain that she would never be able to make a name for herself in the fashion industry as a model, and had contemplated about taking her own life. She was finally able to control the disease by getting weekly injections of Raptiva.” – www.buddytv.com

Emotional struggles, financial strain and endless limitations in many aspects of life ranging from food to sports to vacation and vocation. And BOY do I know how that feels. So when Carridee beat the odds of becoming a Top Model despite having psoriasis – That’s why I cried. KUDOS to CARIDEE!!! HURRAY!!

I too had a dream to be a TV Presenter and model. Growing up I had Eczema on my face and all over my body, scars developing all over my body, Low self esteem and very low self confidence because of people telling me not to scratch, not being able to join certain extra curricular activities. HUH…….

But after all that, I’m Happy to report despite the set backs that Eczema brings and the struggle everyday I have with it (as you may have read in this blog) I have managed to achieve some of my dream to. Save for the modelling bit. I’ve got so many scars I’m ashamed off that I’ve decided to scrap that idea. Sometimes you need to compromise and know when to stop chasing. But hey I can still dream right! and I still made it as a TV Presenter! )

My Mother has always told me, don’t let the thing control you but you control the thing.

DEEP huh…. works on all levels.

Thanks mum!

Here’s to achieving dreams

ITCHY

I had to wait my turn to see a GP today. I also had to choice of which GP I wanted to see. But me being the loveable person that I am, and I appreciate hard work when I see it, and I’m also a “lets make their job easier” kinda girl, I said ‘anyone who is available’. After all I just wanted a referral to see my Dermatologist. It was that time of the month to replenish my “Stock”

I saw a lovely lady doctor. I came in and she asked ‘what can I do for you?’. I replied ‘I need a referral to see my Dermatologist.’ and proceeded to give her the details. She then looked at me and looked at the red spots on my face. ‘What does your dermatologist give you for you skin?’ ‘Diprosone’ I replied. ‘But I’ve had this since I was eight months old and Dr Chu is looking after it for me.’ I said further. At the same time I was unaware that I was scratching my crown. You see sometimes when people like me scratch, 90% of the time we don’t know we’re doing it. Anyway she saw me and said very sternly ‘STOP SCRATCHING!’

Now I can react two ways to this. I can give her a piece of my mind. In the sense that I’ve been living with this all my life and who are you to tell me to stop scratching! What do you know about Eczema anyway. You’re just a GP!

OR

I can choose to forgive her because like most people who don’t know about this disease, they will react that way and they don’t know that saying ‘Don’t Scratch’ or ‘Stop Scratching’ is the most annoying, frustrating and irritating thing one can say. And to say that to a child over and over and over again breeds low self confidence and low self esteem! (which by the way brought back memories and feelings that I have worked so hard to get rid off) Anyway, its not like we can help ourselves. Its is most of the time unconsciously done.

Well I decided on the latter, because the former would have given me stress and stress is not good for the itch – scratch cycle anyway. So I put my hand down and continued to give her details of my dermatologist.

Oh yes, the thought that I might see her again, the next time I need another referral, had a lot to do with that decision too. HEE HEE HEE.

Making the right decisions

ItChY

It’s been four days since my last entry, and I’m happy to report that my skins feels good!

What I did was I took a shower that night and smoothered a whole 10g tube of Elomet all over my body. For those days were nothing works I resort to steroid creams. I use Elomet. In the UK it’s called Elocon. Then I wore very light cotton clothing, air-conditioned my entire house. Settled into my couch with a very good movie on the telly, till the smarting from the reaction of the steriod cream on my eczema stopped.

Depending on how raw and angry the skin is this can last for hours to half an hour. Being in pain that long takes a toll on your emotions. sometimes I don’t know whether I’m crying because of the pain or crying because of I’m tired of the pain.

Anyway, digressing. The next morning I felt raw but not as much as the night before, but I went through the same regime I did the night before. Wore very light cotton pants and top and went to work. By the end of the day my skin was fantastic. Got home from work had a shower and found my skin was drying up and some bits were peeling. But some bits were still raw. This is usually the time were I stop the steriod creams and use my eucerin. I’ve noticed that this is the time to just keep the skin moisturized. Because if the skin is not moisturized the dried and peeling bits will become itchy and the itch scratch cycle will start, and the eczema will restart!

I find if just keep the dry and peeling bits moisturized and when I shower, just very lightly rub the eczema area to get rid of the peeling and dead skin (just to help the healling along and new skin to grow)- actually sometimes just going over the lesion with a shower will get rid of the dead and peeling skin. After my shower I will smoother myself with Eucerin and I don’t stinge on the amount.

Since four days ago, I stuck to this regime coupled with a fish, chicken and vege diet, my skin is almost normal again. And because my skin feels normal my mood is great. I’m happy

Unfortunately, this won’t last long. I know it sounds so pessimistic, but Eczema comes and goes for no reason sometimes, and that is something I have accepted. So I just enjoy it while it lasts.

Happy days

ItChY